Observations
by Lucia-Theresa Horizon
Summary: There are things that the demon would never forget. SebasCiel.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own any character here. They belong to Yana Toboso.

**Author:** Rita Namikaze

**Rating:** T (not M, please don't shoot me)

**Category:** one-shot

**Genre:** Romance (a little bit Angst and Tragedy maybe…)

**Pairing:** SebasCiel

**Warning:** It's SA _**and**_ yaoi, man. Don't like don't read, please.

**Observations**

_The demon would never forget…_

**I**

The demon would never forget those first questions.

He had just rescued a little boy from slavery after being summoned, and built him a whole new mansion in the suburb of London. Being a demon as he was, he had also placed a symbol of their contract on the new prey's right eye, and voluntarily become the boy's head butler.

However, he was a little taken-aback when Earl Ciel Phantomhive – the boy's name, of course – threw his first question.

"_What's your name, demon?"_

Surprise, surprise.

"_I don't have a name, Master."_

He truthfully answered. Well, he had to, because perfect butlers did not lie to their masters. He knew that a name was a sign of a human's existence in this chaotic world, but oh well, not to demons anyway.

"_How about this: Sebastian Michaelis?"_

Another little surprise. His master decided to give him a name? And it was a bit too angelic for him, too.

"_Don't stare at me like that. If you don't have a name then how can I call you? Demon? Funny." _

"_You can call me whatever you wish to, my Lord."_

"_It's just a random name. Take it already, Sebastian. And don't make me repeat it."_

…

"_What's your name, demon?"_

"_My name is Sebastian."_

"_Good. Let's get on with our work, shall we?"_

It was the first time the demon had been given a name.

Maybe having a name like all those filthy humans did was not so unbearable, Sebastian thought to himself. Besides, he might need a specific one if somebody else asked. His master was pretty intelligent for a boy his age, he must say.

And from that day, he became the Head Butler of the Phantomhive family – Sebastian Michaelis.

**II**

The demon would never forget such marvelous movements.

It had been almost six months since Sebastian started his job as the head butler of the Phantomhive family. Six months, and he had already been attached to his young master. Why, he didn't know, and he didn't care. He didn't _have to_ care.

Or so he thought.

Whenever he looked at his master's tiny body (well, Ciel was only ten anyway, and _still_ a child), he would find a new surprise. Who could have known that each move the Earl took held such mysterious fascination?

Each bodily movement, each saying, each _glance _onlycould make the butler drown in his own fantasy.

Sometimes he wondered what this butterfly feeling he had actually was. As a perfect butler he was, he shouldn't be day-dreaming about his own master. But Ciel's images would reappear in his mind whenever they felt like it – which could take him a whole day.

…

Well, at least he tried.

…

All he wanted to do from the beginning was to feel _his_ little master in _his _arms, moaning _his_ name, holding _his_ body… All _his_. It would be Heaven to him if _that_ ever happened – he wouldn't mind living in that kind of Heaven despite the pitiful fact that he was actually a demon.

However, the thing that bothered him was _**why**_.

He thought he wouldn't care about this as much, but the question still lingered there, waiting to be answered. It was the first time the demonic butler felt so confused.

Besides, why Ciel?

He had been to everywhere in the world, had seen wars, bloodshed and tragedies, had been the butler of almost every countable human being. But no one had ever made him _feel_ this way. Never.

He doubted whether there would be another master like his right then.

Somehow, he didn't feel like taking the boy's soul when he finished his vengeance.

…

And the thing was, the demon still wondered why.

**III**

The demon would never forget such a flawless face.

It was last winter when Sebastian realized that his young master was truly an excellent piece of art that he could only admire from afar. He had never had the chance to look at the boy carefully until that day… Ciel's eleventh birthday.

It was a big, big shame that the Earl suddenly went down with fever the very previous day, and the plan for his birthday party – which had been organized carefully by the black butler and no one else – was cancelled. However, this enabled him to stay with Ciel all week – yes, all _week_ – to keep the little patient company.

The fever was not severe, but it was enough to make his master almost immobilized the whole time in his bed. The head of the Phantomhive family seemed so weak, so fragile, so _incredibly_ magnificent as he lied helplessly in front of the butler's blood red eyes.

For the first time in his immortal life, he felt. He felt like nothing could compare to that beauty.

Sebastian looked at Ciel's once pale face again and again and _again_, so much that even he himself couldn't realize he was actually _staring_.

So pure.

So wonderful.

So… perfect.

He could detect a funny feeling in his lower region as he continued to stand by Ciel's bed.

_**This**_ was wrong.

A demon mustn't fall for its prey, just like a butler mustn't fall for his master.

Ciel twisted and turned, constantly moaning at the heat burning inside his small body as he closed his eyes, trying to endure another unbearable headache.

Oh how it turned Sebastian on. The butler twitched as he found a bulge down his pants growing, growing after each groan escaped from the Earl's sinful mouth.

The master slowly opened his eyes and looked up. His flushed face seemed a little better than before as the pills finally kicked in.

"What's the matter, Sebastian? You look disturbed."

"It is nothing, my Lord. How about another ice pack then?"

"Hm… Good idea. Bring me one. I'm so_ hot_ right now."

"Yes, Master."

As the demonic butler started to walk away from the room, he thought he could really do with a quick shower before returning.

**IV**

The demon would never forget those fears.

Sebastian himself wasn't afraid of anything, but to his master, fears were as usual as waking up in the morning. Ciel didn't let out any sign of it, but he knew.

He knew, from the beginning, that his master was indeed beautiful, but weak.

He knew, at the very first sight, that the strong Ciel Phantomhive that everyone saw everyday was nothing but an empty shelter that the Earl built up for himself.

He knew for sure, that the truth would be lying in front of his own eyes, right here and right now.

His master was crying in his sleep again.

He stopped himself from frowning at the scene. Althought the little boy had told him a long time before that he had already overcome the pain, he still couldn't believe those words. And he was never wrong.

His master was so fragile that he only wanted to hold him tight and tell him that everything was going to be okay. However, he couldn't bring himself to do that simple thing.

Maybe just tonight… he would. But…

What if Ciel realized he was cuddling him?

…

It was Sebastian's turn to be afraid, ironically.

…

Demons did not _fear_.

…

For the first time, the demon wondered if he was still _actually_ a demon.

…

He wanted to wrap his arms protectively around that delicate body.

And he did.

…

It was strange when Ciel stopped crying right away.

…

_I wonder…_

…

The black butler continued to wonder, what the faint feeling in his chest was.

…

"_Please, stay…until I sleep."_

"_Yes, Master."_

…

It was bitterly cold outside, but neither of them noticed that stinging feeling.

The master's room had one extra being… and his butler's was empty the whole night.

**V**

The demon would never forget those eyes.

Whenever Ciel looked at him, he could feel the intensity of that color reflecting his own blood red orbs. It resembled the color of the heavy sky before a storm, yet as blue as the color of the sea. It surrounded him, trapping him in a web of images and sexual desires that Ciel could not, and would never understand. The master was still too innocent to sense his desperate needs.

That was what he had shallowly thought. But now he knew better.

After three years in service, the demonic butler started to realize a painful, yet welcomed fact: the Earl was growing. Not only physically growing, but mentally as well.

Sebastian was beginning to think that the used-to-be-little boy understood. All of his actions had betrayed himself; it was only a matter of time before Ciel acknowledged the dangerous forbidden feelings stirring inside both of them.

The demon was right.

He knew he was right from the start, when his dearest master lied underneath his own body, panting heavily. The perfect Ciel was actually letting him do everything he wanted. He kissed the already swollen full lips of the boy hungrily and greedily, taking Ciel's every breath away. Not even a little bit surprised when the Earl kissed him back with equal need, he slipped his tongue into the phantom's hot cavern, hoping to conquer all of his.

It was astonishing when the cute little gray cat purred with joy under his touches, aching for more.

Sebastian opened his eyes to look at his master's. They were clouded with unfamiliar pain and pleasure, turning themselves into a darker and, somewhat more fascinating color.

That color… It was only pushing him off the edge even more. Oh how he wanted to claim the boy his, to feel the warmth of his magnificent body, to be the first being ever to take his virginity.

Once a demon had wanted a thing, he would get it no matter what.

_When I look at you…_

…

It was the first time the butler couldn't make out any excuses to leave the room, and it was the first time the master couldn't find any reasons to not allow his butler to stay.

…

…_I know I'm not alone._

…

The contract was not the only thing that bounded a demon and a human together. And somehow, that night, both of them learned the true nature of their bond.

**VI**

_The demon would never forget how it all ended…_

**VII**

He should have expected the final result to come. He should have kept himself from the insecurity of falling for his own prey. He should have…

_I should have…_

Now that Ciel had fulfilled his promise to the Phantomhive family, he was forced to follow the Earl's last order.

"**I want you to make it as painful as possible, so that it would carve onto my soul."**

_I should have…_

The black butler did exactly what he was told, drinking up his ex-master's very last drop of existence while making him scream in the whole process.

The meal was delicious. More delicious than every meal he had ever had before.

But somehow, the demon couldn't enjoy it as much as he had thought. The feeling of emptiness swept through his polluted soul right afterward, filling him with guilt.

The question "why?" was still there, awaiting him to answer.

But there was no one who could help him answer anymore.

…

He led the boat to the middle of the river Thames, and threw the body into the hungry cruel waves.

No need to rescue a dead master. Instead of that, he stood still, on the boat, doing nothing in particular.

It took the demon a long time to realize that he was still trying to catch a vision of the boy in the deep dark water.

…

_That corpse was not his Ciel, and it never would be._

…

The first thing he did after getting rid of the Earl's body was returning to the Phantomhive mansion.

He did not even know why. He did not even know how. But his instincts had led his worn feet to where he used to live.

Images flashed through his mind, back to the very first day he was given a name.

He was no longer Sebastian. But the sound of the name still lingered there, deep in his heart, like a recalled memory that could never be erased_._

Had he ever wanted to be Sebastian?

…

**VIII**

…

Had he ever wanted a human name?

Had he?

…

**IX**

_The demon would never forget his name…_

…_Or how to be in love with that certain human being._


End file.
